We are sharing notes from discipleship seminars taught in churches more than 40 years ago. You can look through previous studies by searching for “disciple” or “discipleship” in the Search box toward the bottom of this page.

Our next study is about Parents As Disciples. This is where discipleship begins.

[These notes are from a seminar series taught more than 40 years ago. The notes are in outline form.]

A. Four Types of Parents

  1. Neglectful — low in love, low in discipline
  2. Permissive — high in love, low in discipline
  3. Authoritarian — low in love, high in discipline
  4. Authoritative — high in love, high in discipline

B. Four Types of Children

  1. Neglected — undisciplined and unloved: will often become lazy and a burden to society. No goals or purpose to life.
  2. Insecure — from a permissive home: often have bad self image and need others to give them security and direction in life.
  3. Rebellious — from an authoritarian home with emphasis on forced discipline and little love. The child often rejects the parents, their authority, their religion and lifestyle. Often transfers their bitterness to other authorities.
  4. Obedient — from an authoritative home with love and motivated obedience. Child has a good self image and accepts parents’ authority, religion and lifestyle. Usually obedient to other authorities.

C. Does My Child Have a Self-Image Problem?

  1. Do they give undue attention to physical appearance?
  2. Do they have difficulty in trusting God?
  3. Do they wish there were like someone else?
  4. Do they lack concentration (day dreaming)?
  5. Do they demand excessive attention through disobedience?
  6. Are they usually unresponsive to authority?
  7. Do they lack self-confidence?

D. What Are The Consequences of Self-Rejection?

  1. They will fear the will of God.
  2. They will resist more authority.
  3. They will have difficulty building genuine friendships.
  4. They will over-emphasize materialism and fads.

E. How Does a Parent Build Self-Rejection in a Child?

Questions to ask myself:

  1. Do I speak my child’s name with pleasure?
  2. Do I use my child’s real name rather than a nickname?
  3. Do I use words like “stupid, naughty, messy, selfish, etc” with my children?
  4. Do I frequently yell at my children when I want them to do something?
  5. Do I talk with my child in positive ways when he/she is listening?
  6. Do I communicate to my child with eye contact?
  7. Do I communicate with my child through facial expression?
  8. Do I cause my child to feel loved by me?
  9. Do I make my child think I think his/her work is juvenile, childish or unimportant?
  10. Do I compare my child with other children in a negative way?
  11. Do I feel self-conscious about something unchangeable about my child?
  12. Do I use my child to satisfy my own unfulfilled ambitions?
  13. Do I praise my child for positive inner qualities or actions I appreciate?
  14. Do I make only positive comments about my child when he/she is listening?
  15. Do I fail in my example of responsibility by making promises to my child and forgetting to keep them?
  16. Does my child have assigned within our home?
  17. Do I make sure she/he follows through this her/his responsibilities?
  18. Do I treat my child with courtesy?
  19. Do I express an interest in things my child wants to share with me?

REMEMBER — You represent Jesus Christ’s leadership and authority to your child. Your child will formulate confidence in God and himself/herself based in part on your success in instilling a healthy concept of Christ.

F. How Do I Begin to Rebuild a Healthy Acceptance of Self in My Child?

  1. Establish in your child’s mind that a change in your operation is taking place.
  2. Express gratitude that she/he is your child.
  3. Acknowledge your failure in not accepting your child as God’s unique design.
  4. Begin immediately to apply the 19 guidelines listed above.

G. How Do I Disciple My Child?

By saying what is right and doing what is right!

And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.” Deuteronomy 6:6-19


[Thank you for reading these teaching notes from more than 40 years ago. My prayer is they will be a blessing to you and your ministry.]