Teaching Notes: On Principles of Parental Communications

Teaching Notes are Bible studies we taught before GraceLife Ministries began publishing articles online in 1995. Some were presented as sermons, others as group studies.

Our hope is that these older studies will be a blessing to you in your life and ministry. Please use them in any way God leads you.

This study looks at parenting from the perspective of God’s Word.

[These notes are from a Bible study taught more than 40 years ago. The notes are in outline form.]

Four Types of Parents

 

Permissive — high love, low control

Neglectful — low love, low control

Authoritarian — low love, high control

Authoritative — high love, high control

Results of Survey

Self-Worth

  1. Authoritative
  2. Authoritarian
  3. Neglectful
  4. Permissive

Conclusion: discipline is necessary for self-image and a sense of value.

Response to Other “Authority”

  1. Authoritative
  2. Permissive
  3. Neglectful
  4. Authoritarian

Conclusion: motivation to want to obey (rather than force) prompts obedience to others.

Acceptance of Parent’s Religion

  1. Authoritative
  2. Permissive
  3. Neglectful
  4. Authoritarian

Conclusion: children reject ideals of authoritarian parents.

Acceptance of Parent’s Life Style

  1. Authoritative
  2. Permissive
  3. Neglectful
  4. Authoritarian

Conclusion: teens reject life style of strict (only) parents.

General Conclusions

  1. Discipline is essential, but without the balance of love it is dangerous
  2. Love (without discipline) produces insecurity and poor self-image
  3. Both love and discipline are necessary in a proper balance to produce the best results

Key Questions

  1. To which do I tend more easily?  Love _____ Discipline_______
  2. Which do I. need to work on more?  Love _____ Discipline_______
  3. Which did my parents tend toward? Father ________ Mother __________
  4. Am I like them or am I reacting to what they were like?

Raising Your Children

” And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4

  1. “nurture” (discipline)
  2. “admonition” (instruction)

How to Discipline Your Children

  1. Instruct them in what’s right and wrong.
  2. Reinforce what you’ve taught them.
  3. Restitution should be made for the wrong actions.
  4. Reassure them of your love. (the one who is disciplining)

How to Instruct (Teach) Your Children

I. By saying what is right – “And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” Deuteronomy. 6:6-7

A. Teach truth diligently to your children (John 17:17)

B. Talk of spiritual things when sitting in your house.

C. Talk of spiritual things when walking together in daily activities

D. Talk of spiritual things before bedtime.

Talk of spiritual things upon arising in the morning.

(Devotions)

A. Set a definite time.

B. Involve everyone.

C. Be consistent.

D. Develop a meaningful atmosphere.

E. Develop better Bible study.

F. Develop a more powerful prayer time.

Devotions will build stability and security into your family.

II. By doing what is right – “And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.” Deuteronomy. 6:8-9

(Note: it is foolish to tell our children not to do something that we are doing.)

A. Bind them on the hands (Prov. 6:21-22). Be a constant example to them – do right.

B. Keep spiritual truth always in your vision. Have good books, biographies, etc.

C. Keep spiritual true always in your house – doorposts, Scripture plaques, sayings, slogans, music, etc.

We teach MORE BY EXAMPLE THAN WORDS. What we do indicates what we believe.

  1. If we do not attend church faithfully, we are teaching our children that church and spiritual training are not important.
  2. If we do not pray and have family Bible readings, we teach our children that these things are not important.
  3. If we do not witness and share the Gospel with others, we teach our children that the Bible is not true, souls are not lost, hell is not real and preachers who teach this are liars.
  4. If we do not tithe our income, we teach our children to be selfish. We also teach them not to give to God even though He has been gracious to provide for us.
  5. If we don’t attend missionary conferences at church, we teach our children that missions are not important.

How much Bible truth are our children learning from our life?

[Thank you for reading these teaching notes from more than 40 years ago. My prayer is they will be a blessing to you, your family and your ministry.]

 

 

 

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